dfc.furr.orgThe Free-Floating Dysfunctional Family Circus Archive 1.1.2

The Free-Floating Dysfunctional Family Circus TM Archive v1.1.2 Heartwarming cartoons drawn by Bil Keane, gone horribly awry. Please note that this feature has nothing to do with the actual Family Circus comic, and is not authorized by Bil Keane, his owners, or maintainers. If you’re looking for the real Family Circus, proceed to King Features and read as little of this as possible before you do yourself irreparable harm. I act alone and of my own free will, without encouragement, support, or approval from Spinn or anyone else. As I obtained this archive from another person, the changes below in regular type are ones done by previous keepers of the archive; the italic ones are changes I’ve made: DFC now uses stylesheets. Don’t like the way it looks or renders? Now you can make formatting changes via the stylesheet, which is nice. Most pages now validate against the HTML 4.0 (transitional) spec. Didn’t worry too much about the interior pages, since there was some funky stuff going on with some of the captions. Frameless scrolling effect via CSS. No more losing sight of the cartoon while reading, while still free of the bitter aftertaste of frames! Reworking of the links between the pages, and to the images, so that this archive can work anywhere. Sacrificed, somewhat, to prevent remote linking of images. An archive of the images is available for download here Removal of links to Spinnwebe, seems as how this isn’t on Spinnwebe anymore. Corrected a number of minor errors, and found copies of a couple of pages gone missing. Tweaked the CSS to my tastes - this may be an ongoing project as I learn more about it. Removed all weblinks and mailto links associated with the caption contributor attributions - many of them are doubtless outdated, and I do not feel comfortable republishing other people’s email addresses. If you’re a King Features lawyer, don’t bother with telling me to take this down because: This DFC archive is a work of parody, and falls under fair use and parody 1 st Amendment protection There are dozens of copies of this on the net, many less responsible than this one reasonable steps are taken to ensure this material is not confused with the real Family Circus . To wit: individual caption pages are tagged with a NOINDEX meta tag, to keep accidental visitors from bypassing this disclaimer, thus preventing confusion about who has written the captions – and do you really think someone’s going to think that Bil or Jeff Keane is responsible for this? This archive is intended for private use. That is, I have it on my site so that wherever I am, I can see it. I do not intend for the masses to find it. If they do, well, see nos. 1,2, & 3 above. I’m not responsible if someone else doesn’t follow the above guidelines and uses this material in a manner that infringes copyright. Talk to them, not me. I just didn’t want these pages to die. I laugh at most, cringe at some, and occasionally find one that makes me a bit sick. But here they are, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s the Cat’s Ass!A collection of DFC-related resources. A Text Index to the DFC [50] | [100] | [150] | [200] | [250] | [300] | [350] | [400] | [450] | [500] If you’re looking for a particular cartoon, look through the descriptions, or use your browser’s search function to find keywords. Click on a line to access the cartoon in the DFC Archives. 1 Eating scene; Billy speaking 2 Dolly sitting on top of Bil who’s on the couch 3 Thel washing dishes as Dolly sits naked on a toy horse 4 Thel and Jeffy talking while Bil packs 5 Thel on phone amid a frenetic scene with all 4 kids 6 Thel watching Dolly praying 7 Jeffy shows Thel something in a glass jar 8 4 kids confront Bil in a hammock. Billy speaking 9 Bil cheering up a gloomy, baseball-outfitted Billy 10 Jeffy pointing at a broken plate on the floor 11 Dolly shows Jeffy something long and black; Gramma in background 12 Dolly jumping rope as Bil watches 13 Dolly and Jeffy eating cereal 14 Bil with video cam facing all kids & pets; Dolly speaking 15 Jeffy posing with dandelions 16 Jeffy on Bil’s lap, looking at a faraway jet 17 Dolly holding a pair of enormous joke glasses 18 Billy explains some carrotty object Thel’s found in a drawer 19 Billy talking to a happy-looking Dolly 20 Dolly comes up to Thel carrying a book 21 Barfy licking PJ; Dolly comments to Thel in background 22 At Gramma’s; bottom shelves cleared of stuff 23 Entire fam packing up to leave Gramma’s; Jeffy speaking 24 Jeffy on a swing, with no ground visible 25 Billy contemplating an enormous clock radio; Dolly speaking 26 Dolly looking at pictures on Gramma’s bulletin board 27 Dolly weighing herself as a girlfriend watches 28 Gramma helping Jeffy on with his pants 29 Dolly explaining something to another girl 30 Jeffy looking out the window, seems bored 31 Dolly complaining as she and Bil fish 32 Jeffy says something to Thel who’s buying popcorn 33 Dolly, Jeffy, Bil with binox; Jeffy’s looking at the ground 34 Billy explains something to two kids in a classroom 35 Dolly to a black girl; Thel in background doing laundry 36 Dolly talking as Thel holds her, on doorstep 37 Jeffy speaking into a phone that’s dangling off its hook 38 Jeffy, Dolly, Billy eating burgers; Billy speaking 39 Dolly points to Kittycat sleeping on Bil’s briefcase 40 Billy walks in with two friends 41 Jeffy points to himself as he passes Dolly 42 Kids with musical instruments confront Thel; Billy speaking 43 Dolly threatens Jeffy with a toy pterodactyl 44 Thel explaining something to Dolly; Jeffy imagines Dolly’s skeleton 45 Billy examines Jeffy’s stomach with a stethoscope 46 Billy to Thel as a young woman with twins walks by 47 Dolly talking to a happy-looking Jeffy 48 Thel to Bil, as kids are all on the couch playing boat 49 Dolly reprimanding Barfy at the door 50 Billy talking offscreen while on Thel’s lap; Thel has big earrings 51 Bil, looking hung over, buttons Billy’s shirt 52 Dolly painting in a Pocahontas book 53 Dolly to Thel as she gets out of the car 54 Billy talking, sadly, to a blond kid 55 Billy heading out the door with a baseball bat and pizza box 56 Dolly holding a painful elbow 57 Bil, applying chapstick, to Dolly and PJ 58 Dolly at the door with a friend and an enormous black dog 59 Dolly, with Thel in church, examining a stained-glass window 60 Bil to Billy as they walk in the dark woods 61 Jeffy to Thel as they read a book together in bed 62 Thel sprinkling something on Jeffy’s food; Jeffy speaking 63 Jeffy extending a hand to a surprised-looking PJ 64 PJ following Thel with dotted line; minister on the TV 65 Dolly examining a wedding album 66 Bil wisecracking to Jeffy who’s in cowboy suit with banana in holster 67 Grandma speaking to Billy, sitting on her lap 68 Billy examining a watch with Dolly, before a portrait of Grandpa 69 Dolly reading from a Fairy Tales book to Billy 70 Dolly talking to Jeffy, who has a book with a ghost picture in it 71 Jeffy in a devil costume 72 Billy, dressed as a hobo, to another kid dressed as a clown 73 Dolly to the family as they leave church 74 Dolly introduces a friend to Gramma (with PJ on lap) 75 Billy talking to Thel who’s writing a letter; PJ holds bottle up 76 Billy coming in with a slingshot 77 Billy pointing outside into the rain as Jeffy and PJ watch 78 Thel to Bil as she comes into Billy’s sickroom with a tray 79 A woozy-looking Bil says something to Thel; kids playing outside 80 Dolly to Jeffy as he walks by while she & Bil rake leaves 81 Dolly to Thel as she arrives from school with a paper 82 Dolly rummaging under the bed 83 Billy on phone; Thel and Sam peek from around the corner 84 Billy confronts Mom with a list 85 Jeffy comments to Thel about an old man on the bus reading the comics 86 Jeffy holds up a sports car as kids open Xmas presents 87 Bil lifts PJ to ceiling; Dolly watching; Billy speaking 88 Jeffy explaining a messy room to Thel 89 Dolly to Billy, as they’re playing checkers 90 Thel, vacuuming, as kids...